Five long years of courtship followed by two years of marriage is just one example where sex may unwillingly take a backseat.
The gravity of sexual intimacy between partners, married or otherwise, is needless to say diminishing, thanks to the whirlwind pace of life. So what can you really do to fuel the 'fun element' in your bedroom? Well, how about living your fantasies...how about some naughty 'role-playing'?
Spice it up, baby!
No marriage can survive without sex. It might come across as a radical statement but in an attempt to tone it down, let's say, no marital relationship can survive without sex for a long time. Sad, but true, is the fact that every relationship goes through the 'phase' and one of the interesting ways to avoid reaching the brim is to introduce some excitement. Enter, role-play! And no, there's nothing dirty about it. Drop the sissy tag and accept the challenge. For Anisha, role-playing happened soon after her first year of marriage. "My hubby and I are quite adventurous by nature but unfortunately both of us ended up choosing boring professions. Both of us are banking professionals and we decided not to let the monotony of our work seep into our bedroom", she says.
Don't be shy
Emotions are not detached from a sexual act and hence the feeling of oneness, mutual pleasure and bonding must be taken care of. As they say the solution to most problems lies in communicating it. "It is very important to talk to your partner and gauge his opinion. Find out how comfortable he/she is or if they have any inhibitions", says 35-year-old Monica, a homemaker and mother who was introduced to the kinky side of sex by her better half only six months ago. She goes on "We had become a boring couple especially after Ayushi, my daughter was born. We decided to go on a second honeymoon to Thailand and it was then that he said he'd want to try something different." So, was she nervous? "At first it was very weird, I was shy and apprehensive. Then he told me to think of it as a fancy dress competition. That eased things to an extent, and I went with the flow", she adds.
From bedroom to fantasy-room
Fantasies are often distanced from realities and that is why we fear pronouncing them, more so when the imagination is sexual in nature. Only a few lucky ones get a chance to live their fantasies, and to avoid treading the path of adultery, try enacting the wild dreams with your partner. According to Sr Consultant Psychiatrist & Psychotherapist Dr Sameer Malhotra, "The nature of fantasies would depend on one's personality, upbringing, choices and understanding of their partner's emotions. In the process of performing the inspired roles one can assume postures to comfort each other, stimulate each other's erogenous spots and raise it to a level of mutual arousal towards a common feeling of oneness. Only then both the partners will be able to bond."
Is role-play the only solution?
Rajat and Malvika were going through a rough patch in their relationship and were soon planning to tie the knot. Their difference of opinions and misunderstandings had almost convinced them that they were incompatible. That's when a close friend consulted them to explore the nuances of an exciting sex life, which has an overall healthy effect on people's lives. "This is like a new chapter for us and we look forward to each other. It adds humour to the act and reveals the sexier side of us", Rajat sums it up.
Be naughty. Be wicked. Be different.
Don't even think about the stale ideas - master and slave, teacher and student and the likes. Try something different, something that's playful yet has dignity. Ideas are many but you've got to pick the one that would work best for your relationship.
- The star couple of Twilight Saga - Don the cape and pose as the drop dead gorgeous vampire and leave a love bite on her neck that she'll be proud to flaunt.
- A one-night stand...with your wife - Tell her to meet you at the bar. Once there, pretend to be strangers and use pick up lines only to go back home and end up in a hot love making session.
- Masquerade - Masks are a sure shot way of getting your partner in the mood. You could try some dialogues from famous movies to add to the drama.
- A movie scene - A passionate love making scene that both of you enjoy watching together could be replayed in your bedroom with you as the protagonist.
Let your imagination run wild to find out which role you'll play tonight!
