ONE of my university housemates and I had a lot to drink one night and she started asking me whether I had tried sex in all sorts of different ways.
Some I had, some I hadn’t, and I was intrigued by her suggestion that we should try to find a new way together — something neither of us had tried before.
I’m 20, she’s 21 and a very sexy girl. There was no way I could refuse an offer like that.
The “new way” was interesting but not wonderful, so we gave it three out of ten.
Since that night we have been having experimental sex, usually when our other housemates are out. We don’t want to set up an atmosphere in the house.
We share with four others but are at the top of the home so we mostly get the privacy we need without being too blatant about it.
She comes from a family who have travelled a lot because her dad is in the oil business.
She is very adventurous sexually but also in other ways. I have never met anyone like her before.
Now my ex-girlfriend, who is 20, has asked to visit me.
We split up just after Christmas but we are still in touch. We’ve always got on well and our families are friends so our paths cross quite a lot.
We didn’t have a big bust-up, we just decided to go our own ways, mainly because the distance between us is difficult while I am more than 250 miles away. I see us getting back together one day.
This gives me a real problem. My ex has hinted about having sex when she visits but that could make the housemate I am sleeping with feel put out.
We’ve been clear we’re just having fun but having sex with another girl under our roof just seems rude.
Two of our housemates know me and this girl have sex together. How can I make sure they keep silent while my ex is here?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s bound to feel awkward and really this possible clash is flagging up the fact that you need to get your priorities clear.
It’s highly risky to assume you can effectively “park” your ex and expect her to be around waiting for you once you have had all the fun you want at university.
Or if you see the two of you as having really made the break, then you shouldn’t be having sex with her now.
The fact she’s hinting at it suggests she still holds a candle for you. If you don’t love her, then it’s unfair to encourage her to have hope.
Choose – either tell your ex it’s best she doesn’t visit, or end your fling with your housemate and work out how to make a go of a long-distance relationship with your old girlfriend. Lots of people do make it work.
