I CHEATED on my girlfriend with a woman on a lads’ weekend. The sex was fun but I feel so low.
I had been with my partner for six weeks at the time and I knew she was the one. We’ve known each other for years.
She is beautiful and has an amazing personality and I had always fancied her.
I had asked her out in the past but she always turned me down. Last year I thought I would ask just once more and I was amazed when she finally agreed to go out with me. I’m 27 and she’s 24.
I told her on our second date that a group of us had already booked a weekend to Brighton and asked how she would feel if I went. I promised her I wouldn’t cheat.
It was a typical lads’ weekend and I got blind drunk on the Saturday night. A pretty girl started chatting to me.
I told her I had a girlfriend and she said she understood. We walked down to the beach and decided to have paddle in the sea. The water was freezing and we clung to each other laughing about it.
It soon got too cold so I decided to get back to the hotel. She said not to worry, that she could keep me warm.
We ended up having sex there and then she came back to my room. It felt great at the time but I woke up with a sore head in more ways than one.
That was six months ago. I’ve cut back on the drinking and been faithful ever since.
I didn’t confess because I didn’t want to lose her. We are deeply in love and have moved in together, but I feel so guilty.
She thinks I’m such a great guy but she doesn’t know I’ve betrayed her. I feel like I’m not the man she thinks I am and I don’t deserve her.
Should I own up or just try to be the best boyfriend I can?
DEAR DEIDRE: It’s true you have been deceiving her. If there is any chance of your mates spilling the beans, you’re best confessing.
But if you can rely on them, I can’t see any good in disturbing your girlfriend’s peace of mind.
If your secret keeps eating into you, you can talk to Samaritans (samaritans.org, 116 123).
You’ve been faithful ever since and cut back on your drinking, so I guess the guilt is killing you because this is the first time you have felt this serious about a girl.
Make sure you’re doing all you can to strengthen your relationship so neither of you is tempted to cheat. My e-leaflet Looking After Your Relationship can help.
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