When you find yourself at the receiving end of nasty breakup, it can be quite tempting to seek solace in a new relationship immediately. A case of classic rebound, it happens to many of us, most often we are not even aware of the fact. Just when you're hurting and feeling unworthy, you find yourself walking into another relationship where you feel cared for.
It might be a short affair, but you're treading on dangerous grounds, if it is love on the rebound. Blinded by love yet again, the person finds it difficult to see the signs of a rebound. Therefore, it is important to gauge and to look out for signs that may prevent you from ending up as a case of rebound love. If you don't know how to do that, you can begin by asking yourself some honest questions before proceeding ahead with the relationship. Some questions that you should be asking yourself are:
Do you feel rushed?
You should achieve a closure in your earlier relationship and nurse your wounded feelings, if any, before going ahead and falling for someone else. If you feel rushed in the new relationship, then you probably haven't given yourself enough time and hurriedly clung on to the first shoulder to cry on. Take a step back by taking some days off from romance completely.
Is your ex still a part of your life?
If you still think of your ex all the time, the he/she is still a strong part of your life, whom you can't stop thinking about. You might have mutually decided to stay friends with each other, but if that is bothering you now, it is better to have a chat with him/her and keep away from them completely. Stop calling or messaging him/her for each and every reason, and remove them from all your social media networking sites till you get over them.
Do you still feel the pain?
If you're still hurting from your past relationship, it means that the wound is still raw. Your heart needs to heal, which is not going to happen if you get into another relationship easily.
Do you just want to show that all is well with you?
You see all your friends happy with their partners and you don't want to be left behind. So you go ahead and date someone to have a good time and not end up lonely.
Do you have constant bad mood swings?
Bad mood swings are signs of an unhappy person. These can have consequences and frequently swinging from bad to good mood doesn't help anyone. Getting constantly irritated with your new partner is a major sign of being in a rebound relationship.
Do you feel insecure?
If you want to be with your new partner all the time and constantly seek validation of love from them in with words, action and things, then you are still feeling insecure. This is your way of wanting to be assured by someone that you are the right choice for your partner and that things are not going to go wrong.
Do you really know your new love?
Just getting into a relationship is one thing and knowing your partner, his likes and dislikes is another. If you have fallen in love on rebound, it is possible that you may not know your partner that well and are just taking them for granted.
Do you use sex to ease through the pain?
Do you feel better after having sex? If yes, then remember it might just be a temporary relief and the feeling of well being may not last long. Don't use the excuse of a great sex with your current partner as a reason to have found real love. Check your feelings when you are not in bed to get the real answer.
Steps to avoid getting into a rebound
- A break-up might leave you feeling unattractive, so go ahead and groom yourself.
- Indulge in things that might keep you happy like a spa treatment, or some retail therapy.
- Look out for singles and don't shy away from going out again.
- When you go out, flirt around if it makes you happy.
- If it is a brief, fun romantic interlude that you are looking for, then be honest about it.
- Don't let superficial feelings make you feel like it is a serious relationship.
- Lastly, remember, rebound relationship is not a solution or therapy.
- Take professional help to tackle any leftover feelings of hurt, anger or resentment from the past relationships.
- Be emotionally responsible for your feelings as well as those of anyone you're getting involved with.
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