I HAD sex with my ex when I was first with my little girl’s father – and have since discovered he got his own back by cheating on me when I was giving birth.
I’d only been with my partner for two weeks when my ex messaged me to say his dog had died.
I rang him and he was desperate to talk so I went round to his flat. I gave him a cuddle just to comfort him but things moved on from there.
I’m 22 and he’s 29 and the sex was always good. But I regretted it afterwards and confessed to my boyfriend, who is 24. I thought we had put it behind us.
About six months later I found out I was pregnant. We were happy about it but I had a difficult pregnancy and got taken into hospital a few times.
I went into labour early at 36 weeks and was desperately trying to get hold of him, but he wouldn’t answer his phone until the next day. When he finally came — just in time — he said he had been drunk the night before.
When we got home he admitted that he had cheated on me with a girl he’d met in the pub.
He said it was just the once and happened because I was very pregnant and he felt trapped. I forgave him but now this girl has told me that it wasn’t the first time. She said she felt guilty and thought I should know.
He insists nothing has happened since and has taken the moral high ground, saying I cheated first.
I believe he is faithful now but I just can’t trust him. I cannot cope with knowing he lied about what he had been up to.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have your little girl to think about now and it is going to be very destructive to let mistakes that happened before she was born wreck her hopes of a happy family.
You know that having sex with your ex was a mistake but it ate into your partner’s trust.
Try to accept his cheating happened when he was feeling vulnerable, but do talk to him about how you are going to strengthen your relationship so that neither of you risks letting the other one down again.
Babies put pressure on relationships, so are you two really working together and sharing the parenting? That, in itself, will help build trust.
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