I’VE been having a passionate affair with the girl who walks our dog. She’s all I think about.
She is 19. I’m 43 and married with a teenage daughter. My wife is 41.
My wife arranged for this student to walk our dog for a bit of extra cash. At the time, last autumn, I was unwell and off work but was getting back on my feet.
After a couple of weeks the girl suggested I go along too for some fresh air and exercise. I readily accepted as it seemed a much nicer prospect than only having my own company.
I ended up with a lot more than fresh air. We got to talking deeply and intimately on our walks. By the time we got home each morning my wife had gone to work and our daughter to school.
The girl is really beautiful and giving her a peck on the cheek was soon not enough.
Pretty soon we moved on to full sex. It was amazing.
At first it seemed odd to use the bed my wife and I had just got up from, so I suggested we use the spare room. It soon began to feel like “our space”.
I really feel for her and I wanted her to live with me as soon as she finishes her studies in the summer when I was planning to leave my wife.
We were in touch all the time and I knew I had met the love of my life but, as the time drew near, she started texting me less often. She started getting anxious and complained about everything. After a while we started bickering.
Then, one day, she asked me if we were still together or if the affair was over.
She then told me she feels nothing for me and wants nothing to do with me now. I was gutted.
Here was I moving out just to be with her and there was nothing for me after all. I have tried to fix things but she is frosty. I can’t get her out of my mind. I have broken down in tears twice.
I feel I have nothing to look forward to now. The only thing keeping me going is my daughter.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have to face reality. Either you work at putting things right within your marriage or you leave and make a new life by yourself.
The affair was a non-starter. This student is at a different stage in life from you. You have been deluding yourself. First talk to your wife and find out how she feels. This means listening carefully.
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